There have been many occasions whilst sitting in a coffee shop or restaurant when I could not help but hear the conversations taking place around us.
Have you ever listened to yourself when you talk? If not, start paying attention now. Do you think the way you talk matters in life? For some people, yes it does, however for many others; it does not. Whether it does or not depends upon state of mind you are living in at the moment.
Many people love complaining and always seem to find something to complain about. If you are one who is honest to complaining, it is important to consider what exactly you are complaining for. The main reason for perpetual complaining is simple; dissatisfaction of life and of what you are. Who or what is responsible for your dissatisfaction? Is it you? Is it other people? Or is it life itself?
Here are several scenarios which may illustrate situations similar to that of which you are experiencing at the moment. The reason this list was created was to draw your attention some of the possible circumstances which may make you feel dissatisfied with yourself and your life, because causing you to complain. Paying attention to and admitting whatever it is you are happy with is the first step to creating change for yourself.
Scenario 1: You meet new people for the first time and you are eager to let them get to know you. They ask you some simple questions like "who are you?" and "What do you like doing?" What would be your response to their questions?
There are some people who would be able to speak for about 2 minutes about who they are and what they do today. The remaining conversation will likely be based upon who they were and what they did in the past! Pay attention to this in future, and you will be able to tell immediately if someone is not happy with their life today because much of the conversation is based upon the past.
People who think and speak in this way are still living in the past. It is clear that they are having hard time accepting and coping with their present day reality. If you are one of these people, a simple way to change your life is to begin knowing and understanding yourself deeply. Ask yourself what it is you would like to do in your life. What is it that makes you happy? It is likely that your first answer to this question would be "I do not know!" I agree, you probably do not know, but have you ever tried to find out? Have you ever tried anything new? If you do not know your passion how can you ever know yourself and if you do not know yourself, how can you know your passion? It is a vicious circle.
How can we ever expect to invoke change into our life when we are not even ready to seek awareness of ourselves? There are so many people who do not want to do anything about their life on a degree level. Many people resist change and prefer to keep complaining. These people are far from being happy. That's a shame do not you think?
Deep inside, we all know what it is that makes us happy. However, there is some work to do before we can ever be really happy. Knowing your own essence and discovering what it is that makes you happy from inside out means letting go of some of the things which characterize your old life, for example material things, habits, jobs, people, family members, and most importantly, your old way of thinking has to go before change can take place.
Scenario 2: You meet someone for the first time who asks you what you do for a living. You answer by talking about your current job for two minutes; you then proceed to talk about your past job for 1 hour. What does that mean to you? Are you dissatisfied with what you are doing today? People who fit this example are again living in the past because they are dissatisfied with who they are and what they are doing at present.
If this is you, then it is time to consider the reason you left the previous job of which you are still attached to. You must have a reason for leaving. What is holding you back from returning to that job? Maybe it was the situation you were in when you decided to leave. You probably left the job in an attempt to improve your situation, but what went wrong if you have not moved on?
It is time to dig deeper into the reality of the situation. Investigate until you reach the truth of why things are not working out for you. I am sure you will reach your answer if you want to. On many occasions the decision to move to another country, getting married, having a baby and many other circumstances provide reasons for leaving your previous job and life behind. In the end, regardless of what happened, what you did and who you were, you are here today, you made a choice to let go of your old job and move on in another direction so why not try to appreciate what you have in your hand? There are many people off people in the world who do not even have the opportunity of having any job, let alone the pick of several jobs!
It is time to live and appreciate your present situation and stop comparing what you have now with what you had in the past. The past is over, finished and gone. You can not bring it back. When you decide to move forward, release your past and live your life today and you will see many improvements occurring in your life. It will seem as if luck comes from now if you only allow the Universe to manifest into your new situation. The universe will open up to you as long you are open to receive with a good intention to act. Living between two worlds means you are living in contradiction. Where there is contradiction there there is stagnation and there will be no changes in your life unless you let one of the worlds you're living in go completely. By letting go, you will then make way for change to take place freely in your life.
Scenario 3: You moved to a new country and have integrated into a new society for whatever reason. You know you have changed country and culture, yet you have no concept of life outside the one perspective of life from which you came and you want to live the same way you lived back in the country you came from. It will never happen. Instead of lowering your limit and building an understanding of your new home, why do you always think about what you were before?
You spend your time complaining and choose to build your perception of your new life and country based upon what other people tell you about the place from their experience. You are not them; you are you and are there for different experiences all together so why let other people say rule your life? It is time to grow up and take charge of your own life for a change. And if you are still miserable after giving the new country a fair chance to prove its potential, you should ask yourself this, why on earth did you leave your country in the first place?
There are probably many valid reasons to answer as to why you decided to leave your country. Maybe it was just to improve your overall quality of life. Maybe you chose to marry someone who lived in another country or maybe a change of job forced you to move. There are many possibilities. In the end you left your country to improve some aspect of your life, which means that you were either unhappy or unsuccessful in the area you decided to improve by leaving.
So you arrive into your new country and are expecting to live and be treated as were in your own country. Remember, you left your own country because there was something for you in the new country that your old country was not providing; there, was something you needed to attain by moving so what is the problem? What exactly is it that you? Do you see any sense at all in your situation? Or can you see the obvious contradiction?
If you left your country to marry someone else, you obviously felt ready and willing to sacrifice your old life to build a new life with the person you chose to marry. Remember you were the one who made that choice. If you were 100% happy in the country you came from and had some patience to wait, then maybe you would have found a women or man to marry there and you could've stayed. You had a choice. Love and life do not close doors if you decided to wait for something more suited to the life you would like to lead.
The last scenario of having to move country can often combine aspects of scenarios 1 and 2. Regardless of the circumstances many people may not be pleased with changing their environment but remember we always have a choice. Every one has reasons for changing their place or residence or work. But at least if you are going to move, try to invest in what you are doing instead of complaining and comparing your present situation with your past because it is nothing but a waste of time which will lead you to misery, emptiness and a feeling of purposelessness.
From the examples given in the first three scenarios, I would like to emphasize on some lessons that are essential to learn and understand in terms of what we are and the Universe in which we live. It seems that many people do not really care about anything in life. This leads to more and more unhappiness and complaining about the every day routine, the weather, feeling bored, feeling lost and empty with no vision or goal in mind.
We should always keep in mind that any decision we make in life will have either positive or negative implications with it, depending on the way we see things. No matter what, we still have to live with the consequences of our decision or make another decision to change it. It is simple. Life is always about trial and error and it is okay to make mistakes, so long we learn from them and move on in a new direction. Unfortunately this concept is usually either unknown or unacceptable for many people. Many people can not accept that they make mistakes then feel guilty and punish themselves for the rest of their lives compensate for their errors. Other people do realize their mistakes, yet, a combination of pride and fear of damaging their image and reputation with other people prevails them from accepting the mistake and changing the course of their life accordingly. It is sad when we allow the opinions of others to take priority over our own life so much so that it affects the entire course of our life and destiny.
Most of us want to be happy and live a life that is rosy, but just what are we prepared to do to make that happen? Some people have the courage and determination to take responsibility for their own life and will do anything to accomplish whatever it is they desire. However it is unfortunate that most people want to just sit back and do nothing while they wait for life to happen to them. We expect things to happen to us, yet we are not even trying to do anything for ourselves. Whose life are you living anyway? Is it yours or is it more directed towards impressing others?
It is not uncommon for some individuals who are experiencing stagnation in their own life to feel jealous, envious and resentful towards others around them who are experiencing change, success and accomplishment in their life. Do people who are jealous of others actually realize the responsibility, commitment, work, effort, risk and sacrifice it takes to reach your heartfelt goals in life? We need to learn that whether we are successful or not is a matter of personal choice, you can choose your life circumstances or you can let circumstances happen to you. It is that simple! Accomplishment is not an option unless we take risks in life and accept that it is necessary to let go of all outworn habits, patterns, jobs, relationships and whatever else it may be that prevails us from moving forward into a life of happiness and fulfillment.
No matter what your situation, you always have the option to change. We are all able to re-start our life if we make the decision to do so, but your way of thinking has to change. Just let go of old thoughts that no longer work for you and allow change to take place. It is important to remember that your misfortune is not the fault of others; they are not to blame for what happens to you. Our situations are not the result of what others force upon us, it is the result of what we are not allowing to manifest in our life. We often let our old self become comfortable, it becomes our security, but it also becomes our obstacle keeping us from moving when we do not even realize it. At the same time we blame everyone else around us as much as we can to make up for what we are not doing for ourselves. Stop doing it now and start valuing your life by making the right decision to bring you toward happiness and fulfillment.
It does not matter how old you are either, age is not an excuse! You are always able to change your direction in life because in the end, you are the one in charge of you, no-one else. Regardless of whether you have 10, 20, 30 or 50 years to live, would not it be worth trying something new by letting go of the wonderful life you have been living for so long? The one question you will regret for the rest of eternity if you do not act to change now is "What if I tried this or that?" Do you want to be saying that when you are ready to leap into the grave, watching your life flashing before your eyes? "What if, What if, What if?"
Copyright © Joseph Ghabi http://www.freespiritcentre.info